Monday, January 08, 2007

The Purina Diet

David (Jrome's cousin): I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for Majik and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........
"I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms."

Lady: Eyes wide with a concerned look on her face.

Dave: "I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again."

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified Lady: "Did something in the dog food poison you? Could the diet have been why you ended up in the hospital."
Dave: "No.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my nuts when a car hit me." I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door he was laughing so hard.